izzit dat' hard

this is not my story....
a friends of my....
enjoy this story all
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>I have a boyfriend who grew up with me. His name is Jin.
>>>I always thought of him as a friend until last
>>>year, when we went to a trip from a club. I found that I fell in love
>>>with him.
>>>Before that trip was over, I took a step and confessed my love for him.
>>>And soon, we became a pair of lovers, but we loved each other in
>>>different ways.
>>>I always concentrated on him only, but by his
>>>side, there were so many other girls. To me, he was the only one, but to
>>>him, maybe I was just another girl…
>>>“Jin, do you want to go watch a movie?” I asked.
>>>“I can’t”
>>>“Why? You need to study at home?” I felt
>>>disappointment
>>>grabbing me.
>>>“No… I am going to meet a friend…”
>>>He was always like that.
>>>He met girls in front of me, like it was
>>>nothing.
>>>To him, I was just a girlfriend.
>>>The word ‘love’ only came o ut from my mouth.
>>>Since I knew him, I had never heard him say ‘I
>>>love you’
>>>before.
>>>To us, there weren’t any anniversaries at all.
>>>He didn’t say anything from the first day and it
>>>continued
>>>till 100 days…200days…
>>>Everyday, before we say goodbye, he would just
>>>hand me a
>>>doll, everyday, without fail. I don’t know why…
>>>Then one day…
>>>Me: Um, Jin, I …
>>>Jin: What…don’t drag, just say..
>>>Me: I love you.
>>>Jin: ……you….um, just take this doll and go home.
>>>That was how he ignored my ‘three words’ and
>>>handed me
>>>the doll.
>>>Then he disappeared, like he was running away.
>>>The dolls I received from him everyday, filled
>>>my room,
>>>one by one. There were many…
>>>Then one day came, my 15th year old birthday.
>>>When I got up in the morning, I pictured a party
>>>with him,
>>>and stranded myself in my room, waiting for his
>>>call.
>>>But… lunch passed, dinner passed… and soon the
>>>sky was
>>>dark… he sti ll didn’t call.
>>>It was already tiring to look at the phone
>>>anymore.
>>>Then around 2am in the morning, he suddenly
>>>called me
>>>and woke me from my sleep. He told me to come
>>>out of the
>>>house.
>>>Still, I felt joy and I ran out happily.
>>>Me: Jin…
>>>Jin: Here…take this…
>>>Again, he handed me a little doll.
>>>Me: What’s this?
>>>Jin: I didn’t give it to you yesterday, so I am
>>>giving it
>>>to you now. I’m going home now, bye.
>>>Me: Wait, wait! Do you know what today is?
>>>Jin: Today? Huh?
>>>I felt so sad, I thought he would remember my
>>>birthday.
>>>He turned around and walked away like nothing
>>>had
>>>happen.
>>>Then I shouted…
>>>“Wait…”
>>>Jin: You have something to say?
>>>Me: Tell me, tell me you love me…
>>>Jin: What?!
>>>Me: Tell me
>>>I put my pathetic self behind and clung on to
>>>him.
>>>But he just said simple cold words and left.
>>>“I don’t want to say…that I love someone so
>>>easily, if you
>>>are de sperate to hear it, then find someone
>>>else.”
>>>That was what he said. Then he ran off.
>>>My legs felt numb…and I collapsed to the ground.
>>>He
>>>didn’t want to say it easily…
>>>How could he….
>>>I felt that…
>>>Maybe he is not the right guy for me…
>>>After that day, I stranded myself at home
>>>crying, just
>>>crying.
>>>He didn’t call me, although I was waiting.
>>>He just continued handing me a little doll every
>>>morning
>>>outside my house.
>>>That’s how those dolls piled up in my room…
>>>everyday
>>>After a month, I got myself together and went to
>>>school.
>>>But what made the pain resurface was that… I saw
>>>him on
>>>a street…with another girl…
>>>He had a smile on his face, one that he never
>>>showed
>>>me…as he touched the doll…
>>>I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls
>>>in my
>>>room, and tears fell…
>>>Why did he gave these to me…
>>>Those dolls are probably picked out by some
>>>other girls…
>>>In a fit o f anger, I threw the dolls around.
>>>Then suddenly, the phone rang. It was him.
>>>He told me to come out to the bus stop outside
>>>my house.
>>>I tried to calm myself down and walked to the
>>>bus stop.
>>>I kept reminding myself that I am going to
>>>forget him,
>>>that… it’s going to end.
>>>Then he came into my sight, holding a big doll.
>>>Jin: Jo, I thought you were pissed, you really
>>>came?
>>>I couldn’t help hating him, acting like nothing
>>>had happen
>>>and joking around.
>>>Soon, he held out the doll as usual…
>>>Me: I don’t need it.
>>>Jin: What….why…
>>>I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it
>>>on the road.
>>>Me: I don’t need this doll, I don’t need it
>>>anymore!! I don’t
>>>want to see a person like you again!
>>>I spitted out all the words that were inside me.
>>>But unlike
>>>other days, his eyes very shaking.
>>>“I’m sorry” He apologized in a tiny voice.
>>>He then walked over to the road to pick up the
>>>doll…
>>>Me: You stupid! Why are you picking up the
>>>doll?! Just
>>>throw it away!!!
>>>But he ignored me and just went to pick the
>>>doll.
>>>Then…
>>>Honk~ Honk~
>>>With a loud honk, a big truck was heading
>>>towards him.
>>>“Jin! Move! Move away!” I shouted…
>>>But he didn’t hear me, he squatted down and
>>>picked up the
>>>doll.
>>>“Jin, move!”
>>>HONK~!!
>>>“Boom!” That sound, so terrifying.
>>>That’s how he went away from me.
>>>That’s how he went away without even opening his
>>>eyes to
>>>say one word to me.
>>>After that day, I had to go through everyday
>>>with guiltiness
>>>and the sadness of losing him…
>>>And after spending two months like a crazy
>>>person…
>>>I took out the dolls.
>>>Those were the only gifts he left me since the
>>>day we
>>>started going out.
>>>I remembered the days I spent with him and
>>>started to
>>>count the days… when we were in love…
>>>“One…two… three…”
>>>That was how… I started to count the dolls…
>>>“Four hundred and eighty four… four hundred and
>>>eighty
>>>five…”
>>>It all ended with 485 dolls.
>>>I then started to cry again, with a doll in my
>>>arms.
>>>I hugged it tightly, then suddenly…
>>>“I love you~, I love you~”
>>>I dropped the dolls,shocked.
>>>“I….lo..ve…you??”
>>>I picked up the dolls and pressed its stomach.
>>>“I love you~ I love you~”
>>>It can’t be!
>>>I pressed all the dolls’ stomach as it piled on
>>>the side.
>>>“I love you~”
>>>“I love you~”
>>>“I love you~”
>>>Those words came out non-stop.
>>>I…love you…
>>>Why didn’t I realize that….
>>>That his heart was always by my side, protecting
>>>me.
>>>Why didn’t I realize that he love me this much…
>>>I took out the doll under the bed and pressed
>>>it’s stomach,
>>>that was the last doll, the one that fell on the
>>>road.
>>>It had his blood stain on it.
>>>The voice came out, the on that I was missing so
>>>much…
>>>“Jo…Do you know what today is? We’ve been loving
>>>each other for 486 days. Do you know what 486 is? I
>>>couldn’t
>>>say I love you…. Um… since I was too shy… If you
>>>forgive me and take this doll, I will say that I
>>>love you…
>>>everyday… till I die… Jo… I love you…”
>>>The tears came flowing out of me. Why? Why? I
>>>asked
>>>god, why do I only know about all this now?
>>>He can’t be by my side, but he loved me until
>>>his last
>>>minute…
>>>For that… and for that reason… to me… it became
>>>courage… to live a beautiful life….
>>>
>>>It's better to lose your pride with someone you love rather than lose
>>>someone that you love with your useless pride !
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>sad one eh..+ sweet..
>>>
>>>cherish ppl la..no matter wat!!